50 Things That Men Wish Women Knew......

I got this bulletin from a friend and decided that there were some replies that needed to be given to some of these “Universal guy truths that all women should understand.” Now it is not my intent to reply to all 50 of these things but I may get on a roll! So we will see……
1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong.
How can it make you proud when 9 times out of 10 you are the one that thinks we are wrong?
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.  
Whatever.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you’re not in the car.
It’s not that I think you are speeding, it’s that I know you can’t drive as well as I can at this speed!
5. If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get.
This one goes both ways, if you are truly interested don’t send mixed signals.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity. 
Butch-up!
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me–once.
We would only tell you once if that would fix the problem or get you to realize your mistake.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
Again that goes both ways!!!
9. I’m hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.  
LOL

11. Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain’t pretty.
Till you see unplucked on some!!!
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
Put your money where your mouth is!!!!
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you’re nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
And we like to be barked at, anytime?
15. I don’t ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
Then you need a hobby! And I LOVE to drive!!
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
Again that goes both ways. However, if we really could have sex with you anytime that we wanted you might not find the time to masturbate.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex.
Please read your own words!
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?  
Talk, talk, talk
19. There’s no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
Remember that the next time you tell or ask us to be quiet!!
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
Not as nice as the purring of a 67 Goat!!
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren’t looking for the truth anyway.
And you tell us you can’t read minds, but know that we weren’t looking for the truth, anyway!!

22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
As I do you when you blow up over some stupid little pointless thing!!
23. You’re really bad at faking it.
You are even worse at it!
24. If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you’re late.
We know you wouldn’t just offer!!
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
No Comment!!!
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
Don’t think so I read #25!!! Wouldn’t want us to be more late.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.  
LOL
28. Unless we’re meeting my parents.  
LMAO
29. When you call us at work “just to chat,” we’re not really listening; we’re checking our e-mail.
We will keep that in mind the next time you want quality time that isn’t leading to sex!
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn’t need to be a mini-skirt; it’s been a long winter.
So you really didn’t mean what you said in #27!!
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
Yeah and guys like that can be hot too!!!
32. We don’t mind being told we look good. Just don’t call it a “cute outfit.”
Are you even familiar with dashing or debonair?
33. We love ponytails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
Would you like the flow chart in black and white or color coded?
35. The first time? We’re as nervous as you are.
Again with the mind reading!!!
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
Funny the look didn’t say that!
37. Make us laugh and we’ll want to hang around.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman’s problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
I do not know any stereotypical man that likes to solve a woman’s problems.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
Respect our reason!
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words “naked” and “waiting.”
I know some men that only have conversations via text message…..without using the words “naked” or “waiting.”
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
43. Anytime you cook for us, we’re happy.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
Please don’t!!
45. No, I don’t remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I’m a guy, not a tape recorder.
Maybe not remembering what anyone said next is why you don’t ask for directions.
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
Again, remember that when it is girls night out!!
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.  
LOL
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, “Do you think she’s pretty?”
49. Don’t rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
50. Never say, “I know you better than you know yourself.” Nobody does.
Yet you tell us what we are thinking or what we want (see 21 and 35).
So I answered more than I had intended, but that was to be expected!!!

WTF......but worth repeating......

Ok so today I’m going to ramble!!! It is one of those days that the thoughts are flying through my mind like debris in a tornado and I do not have the energy to grab hold of one and make it grow. So maybe what I need is to follow the advise of Sean Connery’s character in Finding Forester….. “write first think later”
So I am going to write and I ask your forgiveness in advance as I know that I will ramble and digress and wonder aimlessly among the flicks that are my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. And it is the very intrusion of these flicks that have prevented me from writing on some more important topics that were on my list of things to do this past week. Included in these flicks are what I consider some very valid questions, but ones that I have not or will not ask because I do not think that real positive dialogue will develop and the point of raising questions to promote dialogue. Now my disclaimer on this is that when I say that I have not and will not I am referring to persons in my life or world that have caused these questions to rear their ugly head.
I think one interaction this week that will kinda sum up a lot of my confusion, if you want to call it that, is something that happened between myself and someone very special to me. This man entered my life over 3 years ago and he has been in some respect everything to me in that time. We have had priceless times and missed opportunities, openness and solitude, honesty and miscommunication; but above all that we have had the preverbal elephant in the room. So you may be wondering what name that elephant goes by…racism.
Yes, I said racism. It is funny, originally I didn’t think that race/ethniticty was an issue with us, I guess that is because I have dated outside my “race” a lot. I tend to look at people, or in this case men, as who they are not what they are. Every group has its good and bad. As a young child I lived in the south, where we only had black and white and that was how racism was taught and looked at. A person fell into one of those two groups. Then, when I was 12, I moved to South Florida where half the population was hispanic. Side note here, I am part Indian, or as some label us part Native American, but growing up I was taught that I was white. So when I saw hispanics I looked at them as being just like me. And growing up in South Florida if you wanted to date and you were ‘white’ and you were going to limit yourself to just ‘white’ you were going to drastically decrease your pool of possibilities. However, like I said, I never learned a distinction between white and hispanic. And quite a few of my boyfriends growing up were hispanic and they were great guys, the best.
Now that I have digressed, as I said that I would, let me get back to the story. So my hero, forwarded me one of these text messages that used to be only in email. This one basically asked the receiver to confess their first thought about the sender when they had first met. Well, even though it has now been years, I remember everything about our first meeting. I already knew that he was a decent man, we had been online friends for months. I already knew what he looked like, we had exchanged pictures. But what he didn’t know was that I had just had my heart broken by the guy that I thought was my everything. And one of the reasons that I agreed to meet him in person for lunch was to see if I could even do it.
So I must confess at this point that I had no expectations at all for the lunch. I was simply focusing on getting through the meal and expecting to do so so poorly that I would not hear from him again. What I was not ready for was to be totally captivated by this larger than life, intelligent, witty, handsome guy; but that is exactaly what happened. Since that day, though, life has lead us, along with him, in different directions. And because of the different paths that we are on, I tend to keep from him some of my purest feelings. The answer to his question, what was the first thing that I thought when we met, is one of those thoughts. Somethings are better left unsaid and this is one of those things. (Now for those of you that think maybe we could have happily ever after, if only I would tell him how I really feel——I have, he knows, but keep reading and you will know too.) So I told him that I would not tell him anything more than every moment spent with him was etched on my heart and treasured in my soul.
However, curiosity got the better of me and sent the question back to him. I wondered what he thought that first day, years ago now. His reply was “what a nice sweet white chick.” There was his confession of the preverbal elephant that had been between us all along. He could not look at me and see me without seeing me as white. It is funny, I am only part white, but it is my white part that defines me in his eyes. And as we all know there is nothing that we can do to change the color of our skin or our ethniticty.
Another disclaimer at this point, I had figured out that my being ‘white’ was an issue a long time ago, so I accept it and even though from time to time it does hurt to know some of the things that he has said to me were only sincere in the capacity that my being white would allow, how I look at him and how I feel about him has never changed. However, I have these moments when I chose to get in your face and point out the obvious. Guess what, this text exchange became one of those moments. So I sent him a text message that asked if he knew or wanted to know what the difference between him and me was. He asked me what and I told him. “When I looked at you I only saw a man, I did not see a latino.”
Do not hold your breath waiting for his reply. What do you say to that? I have called you out and I am right. I put you on the same plane as every other man in the world and you do not show me the same respect. I look at you and see you, all your strengths and weaknesses, and I choose to love you and respect you. What did you do to me? You looked at me and saw that I was sweet and nice and WHITE. My strengths and weaknesses were valued within the basis of my being white. I was judged and sentenced accordingly. Some days I wonder why you still talk to me. I have heard you complain to me about not finding in latinas what you have in me and it hurt. There are days that you have made it hard to be there for you unconditionally, knowing that what you seem to want you had right in front of you but would not accept. But I think that it is even harder to hear you say anything positive about me, to me it doesn’t really matter because you have labeled me as white. See when you quantify the way that you see someone you reduce any validity that you may have had in complimenting that person or telling that person anything of depth or honesty.
I wonder when we will look at people for who they are and not the color of their skin or the language that they speak or the place that they were born. But then if we did that we would not be able to hate each other so easily, because we would see that we are all just alike.

Barter System Thoughts......

I would actually like to see the world get back on something of a barter system. We have forgotten the value of services and talents and the value of people. As for how I would fare...I think I would hold my own :-) I think that I could be very happy in a barter system as I do not mind doing things for others and I am not greedy. I would have lots of services to offer to others from cooking and cleaning and tutoring to other things like computer and vehicle repair as well making soaps, candles, medicines, health and beauty products and spices and other things that can be used in everyday life :-)

21st Century Citizen.......NOT

While I do love some of the features of technology, getting to meet people from all over the world and share thoughts and ideas and being able to gain knowledge that I might not otherwise be able to do in an age without technology; most of the time I do not feel like I am in the right age. Matter of fact I feel like I am about 1000 years out of place or 5000 years out of place or 10000 years outta place or 25000 years outta place. Why so many different time periods, not so much because I am confused, but more because I believe that those are the time periods when my character would find more comfort than now in this age of money and gadgets.
I am not someone who craves being rich or famous, I do not need the latest new thing from Apple; instead, I actually avoid iAnything as much as I possibly can. While I do most of my writing online and therefore by keying and not writing, I still LOVE the act of sitting down and putting pen to paper. There is something so much more personal in that, when you chose the paper and the pen and sit and compose a missive you are making a personal connection with the recipient. You are giving them a gift from you. And when I receive a letter that someone took the time to actually compose via pen to paper, it is like holding a piece of them in my hands.
I LOVE my Kindle, I am a complete and total bookworm, and the best thing about my Kindle is being able to always have enough books to read....but I still have stacks and stacks of DTBs all over my house and bookcases overflowing, cause curling up on a rainy or lazy day with a good book to take you to far away places is the best thing in the world.
I love my smartphone and being able to always text my loved ones or check on friends on FB; but I love long conversations over coffee or dinner so much more.
But what makes me feel most outta place is that the things that I hold so close to my heart make me an outsider in this world. I believe in truth and honesty. I want honor and integrity to guide me. I look for justice and mercy in others. I crave a sense of compassion and duty. I insist that actions mean more than words, I demand that only words that are meant are spoken. I admire what you are and what you have done, not who you are and what you have. So, no I do not feel comfortable in the 21st century.

Flip the switch

I wish my self confidence had a switch. I am just as self destructive mentally to myself as any outside force has been. I guess when you hear so much negativity for your whole life you finally believe whether you want to or not. I can say I know that I am smart and I know I have a descent personality and I am nice and honest; but there are a lot of opportunities that I pass on cause I tell myself that there is someone else that can do it better and they deserve the chance or opportunity more than me. If I use just my logic I can tell myself all the things that I could do, but then when it comes to action I emotionally psych myself out. So yes I would love to have a switched that I could flip and turn off the negativity.

From the musical view of Capital Hill

I would say this should be fun....but it is about as much fun as having your eyes glued open, strapped in a chair in front of a wall of TV monitors all playing a different reality show. Now that should qualify as torture under any convention or accord. The only problem is that it is the monkeys that are running the zoo, so don't expect for anything to improve. They found the ridiculous lies flow so easily from their lips that they only need to change the names in the verse but it is the same melody over and over. All originality has been lost and the only creativity is in trying to say the material is new. It is like playing your favorite playlist only to be transported back in time by a bad remake. All the stars claim that they are different, they are the real deal.....it has been so long since there has been an original that they probably are sincere in their con.
However, until we can get some truly new and real talent, I say nothing is worth more effort than piracy and even that is too much effort for most of the BS out there.

My greatest weakness is you.....

My greatest weakness is always seeing the good in people, no matter how bad they seem to be to everyone else. And no matter what they do to me or how they treat me. I'm not really sure where that came from....I was raised to judge people on their outward features. But it was never something that I mastered. Maybe it is because I know where I have been and what I have been through and I know how others think the worst in me without knowing and without asking. However, when they do ask they aren't really listening they are just going through the motions or they are looking for fodder for gossip or some weapon that they can use. Like asking a coworker 'How are you?' most don't really care it is just motions that they are going through to say they are polite and kind and a good person. We are so wrapped up in our own little worlds and making more money so we can buy more things that we have lost all perspective on what is really important. Our ancestors' heroes are not the ones that only acquired great wealth, they are those that showed great bravery and fairness and loved and lived for others or for something bigger than themselves.
We are suppose to try to be better today than we were yesterday, to make the world a better place, and to help our fellow man. We are suppose to treat others as we would want to be treated not as we have been treated. We should live each day so that we have no regrets and no missed opportunities. I am still working on that last statement. But I do try each day to be more than I was the day before. I do not compare myself to others, for I am me and that is all I know how to be. I measure myself against where I was and where I want to be. And who knows maybe one day someone will say..... she did a good thing today.

On Religion

Do I consider myself religious? NO. Religion is a creation of man. It is man, not God, that needs religion. It is a tool that is used by men to control the masses. Look at all the evil that has been done in the world in the name of religion. Whole civilizations have been lost in the name of religion. Religion has been used to promote hate, oppression, slavery and genocide in every form.

My Opinion of Reality TV

I think that 99% of reality television should never be aired. I think, while, maybe in some idealist utopian moment some good intention might have been glimmering faintly in the corner, these shows are a detriment to the community. It shows the worst in the corporate world by displaying the weakest and least protected and defended in our society all in the name of greater profit with minimal expense.
Reality TV from casting to post-production and airing promotes all the short comings and negative character flaws within the corporate world as well as our nuclear families.

Say What?!

"Ouch! That hurt."........My reply, "So do you want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"
Guess with that line the story needs to be told :-) I was in college and it was the weekend, so the local bar beside campus was really crowded. The kind of crowded that means you have to push and elbow your way through to get any where. Which is what my roommate and I were doing, going one way while a couple guys were going the other way. It was one of these 2 guys who said that most unexpected thing to me.

On Money and Happiness

No, money cannot buy happiness. If you are unhappy in your tar paper shack, you will be unhappy in your 6 bedroom mansion. However, money can buy unhappiness. It takes someone well grounded to get money and not let the side effects of money destroy their happiness.
Money is not the root of all evil, money is the tool that evil uses to usurp good; but, it is only a tool and like any tool is for good or evil dependent upon the hand that wields it.

An Engaging Conversation . . . . .

The last person that I had a really great conversation with is the same person that I always have really great conversations with, from the first day we met. That person is the love of my life. He is smart and engaging and one of the most interesting people I have ever had the privilege of spending time with. Words are not adequate to properly express how much I enjoy my time with the most important person in my life. I can honestly say that he is the first person that I have ever met that I truly want to spend every minute with. I have met others that I do enjoy my time with them, but I also enjoy my time apart. Not so with my favorite man, I never seem to have enough time to spend with him and unlike others where I knew that the interest was temporary. I cannot imagine ever losing any interest, matter of fact my interest grows everyday. I look forward to every minute with him and I dislike every minute away from him.

On Abandoned Buildings . . . . .

Creepy cool :-) I think that buildings like people have their own character and personality. Some buildings are inviting and tempt the curiosity while others make you cross the street when passing by. I also think that the stories (or lack of) can increase the creepy or cool or creepy cool factor. By nature we are curious creatures so we are always wanting to learn or know something for ourselves. We are also a competitive species and that enhances the natural curiosity of seeing if the 'stories' are real. Is the house really haunted? Can you still see the blood on the walls? Is it the wind or ghosts? Sometimes we just want to say we saw where something happened, it can make it real.
Being a history student I find old buildings and places more cool than creepy :-) and the older the cooler for me.
 

On Public Speaking . . . . .

I do not mind public speaking and I am efficient at it. I have competed in impromptu speaking in the past and even won competitions. I am not much for written speeches or memorized speeches. I think the speaker should know the topic that they are going to speak on well enough to speak without needing every word written on paper. I also think that the speaker needs to be flexible enough to read their audience and work with them to the common goal of disseminating the proper and accurate information so that the audience gains knowledge and leaves feeling better informed and even satisfied.
The manner in which the speaker presents his information will assist the audience in gaining the presented information. The speaker should show confidence in their facts and opinions, they should use examples to demonstrate the validity of their case as well as be an engaging conversationalist. The voice of the speaker should be rhythmic and fluid with minimal distractions or interruptions. Another technique that should be employed by the speaker is the use of visual aids to encourage and hold the interest of the audience and thus increase the probability of increasing the knowledge of the audience.

My Epic Road Trip . . . . .

I would travel the Panamerican Highway. It traverses two continents from Alaska to Argentina. It is almost 30,000 miles through 14 different countries and numerous climates and ecosystems, with spurs into 5 more countries. What more could one person want in ONE road trip than the diversity of traveling over two continents and seeing every season and experiencing snow covered mountains to hot arid deserts with tropical rain forests and seemingly impassible jungles in between. That would be a trip of a lifetime!!!

A Children's Book Every Child Should Read....

This children's book is about the environment on the surface and the message is good; but, it also shows greed and the excess that comes from greed in the market society. It is timeless in its message, this book written in 1971 still speaks the truth that we have not learned yet as a race. You cannot keep taking from mother earth and expect her to remain the same.

My 10 Best Qualities (well 5 anyway) ......

good listener
I have been told by lots of people that I am a great listener, that they feel they really can tell me anything and I dont seem to be judgmental or negative in anyway to their issues.

generous
If I can help or do for someone, Im there. I sometimes dont even think about the cost to me to be there for someone in need.

dependable
I saw an old friend recently that I hadnt seen since freshman year of high school and she gave me the best compliment that I had had in a long time. She told me that I was the one friend that she always knew would be there for her no matter what.

loyal
If you are my friend, I will have your back no matter what. Sometimes, maybe even when I shouldnt. I will always be there for you, in any way that I can.

down to earth
I hear that a lot from people that meet me. I just am me so Im not sure what they truly mean about me being down to earth. No I dont try to be something that I am not and I do not think that I am any better than anyone else. I just try to do right in all that I do :-)

What's More Important .....

'Im not sure that one is more important than the other. Both elements should contribute to making you a positive and productive person that is happy and contributing to the betterment of your fellow man and community. And as individuals we have different needs to be positive, productive and happy. For me it is more about what I do rather than where I do it. However, there are certain places that after a short while I can feel the drain on my positive energy. Whereas I have been in other places where the energy is more supportive to my productivity and happiness. I feel that when someone gets too bogged down in where the are or what they do - - especially if it is for the wrong reasons they are destined to always feel a certain amount of self lacking. That feeling that something is missing that is because they are not balanced in a positive way. One should work in such a way that they strive for overall balance. I know that we have moments in life that can and do throw us out of balance or tilt our little world in a way that disrupts us and may even knock us off our path and that is okay. We just have to handle that situation to the best of our ability and then work our way back to our path and continue forward. And I even believe that it can be good to change paths when we find that the path we are on is no longer beneficial to us. That is the challenge of life.

The One Who Got Away

First off there isn't just ONE that got away. I would have to say that there is not someone that got away that I truly wish I could go back in time and get back because I just know that they were so the right choice that I didn't make. If I had to pick one choice that I do wish I could go back and redo I'm not sure that I could even do that. I know that had I truly applied myself in high school that I would have had a different life. I know that if I had done for me and not what others wanted me to do and enlisted in the military outta high school my life would be much different. But I didn't do either of those things and there are things that I have now - - my girls being the best - - that I would never risk over woulda, coulda, shoulda. There truly is no point in what ifing especially if it makes you stagnant. Life is suppose to be about motion even if that means that we have to go backwards or sidewards to get there or even push up against the wall feeling like we are not making any progress. It is all about the journey and I have certainly logged miles in the journey of life.

If I Could Be a Character From a Book, I'd Be...

I would love to be Lara, she is smart, independent, adventurous, and wrapped in a very nice package.
Not to mention that she has all my interests and hobbies. I love history, especially ancient history. I love different cultures and peoples. And traveling is the best experience ever.

When the Lights Go Out ....

When the lights go out there are several ways that we occupy our time. It depends on who is home and what time of day it is. If it is daytime then we might pull out board games and play or grab a good book and do some reading. If it is night time then we might pull out the flashlights and tell stories with shadow puppets on the walls or just spend time with each other :-)

The Movie That Moved Me

This movie is definitely my favorite 'chick flick'. It is one that I will curl up on the couch and watch and I do cry every time that I see it. I can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to be loved half that much by another person. To know someone that is that interested in me to know me so well as to know that I would be devastated to lose them and even feel like my life (at least the best part) was done. And to sacrifice themselves to make sure that I would have the means and 'them' to help me through it.
This movie is definitely my fairy tale movie.

The No-Fail Way to Make Me Roll My Eyes

Well I have my choice there but for sure someone whose main topic of communication is to brag about what they have and who they know and expect you to be SOOOO impressed. Yeah. . . . . . . I'm not.