Iskrena Istina

I am one of those people that believes in the good in others and the world. That doing good brings good.

However, I would never tell someone that something bad has happened to that it happened because they are a bad person, then I would tell them, that bad things do happen to good people.

But, then there is the saying when something bad happens to someone 'bad', we say they got what they deserved.

And I know that we can all relate to the person that seems to always get it all, even though they are the worst person, especially to others.

So, what's the real truth?
If we do our best to be good people doing good as much as possible, do good things happen to us?

And if bad things happen to us, is it just bad luck or did we somehow deserve it?

What is good? What is bad?

Now to throw another variable into the mix, I totally believe in free will, that we make our own choices. We, alone decide how we behave and how we treat others and what decisions we make. Even when we follow someone else's advise or direction, it is our own choice to do so. And I also believe that all actions have consequences whether good or bad, seen or unseen.

I believe in some combination of destiny and making our own way. That while the universe or karma or gods or God might have some higher purpose or plan for us, we decide whether or not to follow it or to fulfill it or to live up to our potential.

But, do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you just don't get a break? That for every step forward that you think you are taking, someone or something comes along and pushes you 2 steps back. Or that you spend more time side-stepping road blocks or naysayers and thus you theoretically stay in the same place instead of getting closer to your dreams.

Are you ever confused about what your dreams really are? Do you doubt why you are doing what you are doing? Are the dreams you are chasing yours or the ones you have been told by others to follow? What if you have been following the dreams others told you were yours for so long that you have no dreams of your own? How do you create or discover your own dreams?

Then what? What if by luck you think that you figure out what your dream is, what do you do with it? How do you realize it? How do you make your dream the focus of your life? How do you have a good life reaching your dream in a world whose only focus seems to be money? Unless the dream is only to be rich; but, then again, how?

If you have read this far, then you may be asking yourself, so what is the honest truth that she is talking about?

The truth is, that if any of what I have said resonates with you, you are not alone! And if you do not have answers to any of the above dilemmas, again, you are not alone!

I have been trying to figure out a lot of the above questions and find the right answers to them and so far I do not feel like I have any of them. And while, I tend to be a very private person about my own struggles, and prefer to do what I can to help others, maybe I can try to share some of my struggles in hopes of helping out someone else with their own. If providing nothing more than a feeling of not being alone in this!

One, Two, Three

First there was One,

It was

Amazing,

New,

Magical.

Next came Two,

It was

Growing,

Doing,

Challenging.

That led to Three,

It was

Different,

Wow,

New Again.

Followed by Four,

It was

Bending,

Giving,

Stretching.

We stayed for Five,

It was

Listening,

Solid,

Strengthening.

Sailed with Six,

It was

Distance,

Life,

Familiarity.

Going for Seven,

I want

Growing,

You,

Adventuring.

You'll Never Know

You'll never know just what you mean to me,

I cannot put into words the way you make me feel,
Not even Shakespeare could!

I cannot paint on canvas the emotions you create,
Not even Van Gogh could!

I cannot write a formula to explain my reaction to your touch,
Not even Archimedes could!

I cannot compose a symphony to extol  being loved by you,
Not even Chopin could!

You'll never know just how you have changed my world,

I cannot put into words the difference you have made,
Not even Byron could!

I cannot paint on canvas the dream that is reality with you,
Not even Monet could!

I cannot invent a theorem to prove your magical impact,
Not even Riemann could!

I cannot compose a symphony with more emotion than your presence,
Not even Tchaikovsky could!

No, you'll never know!
But, know that you do.
You mean everything to me!

Book Review - Thinking Like a Geographer By Rebecca M. Burley

Well, this work was not at all what I was expecting or hoping for. What was I expecting/hoping for? More of a conceptual methodology of the thinking skills that are needed or are useful in the study of Geography that can be applied not just within lessons focused on geography, but also other areas to increase the students analysis skills and critical thinking. 

What this book is ... basically it is a complete package lesson plan for geography/social studies for the elementary level. While the book states Grade 2, I would say that it could be applied up to Grade 5 depending on the social and academic level of the students. I also feel that some of the exercises would not be emotionally and thus in turn not intellectually relevant to 7/8YOs and might be better suited for older students. 

As a complete lesson plan package, the book is sufficient to provide basically a whole geography component of the class curriculum for the year. The teacher is provided with the worksheets, project assignments and lecture content. Included are even examples of appropriate 'right answers' from the students to questions presented within the lectures.

Facebook Drama ... Censoring Who Not What ...

I went to check my profile before calling it a night....to find out that I had a post that had been removed for Nudity or Sexual content......What?!?! WTF?!?!?! I have not posted anything nude or sexual.....has FB done lost their mind completely..... So when I finally get to where I can see what post they are whining about...... Thank you National Geographic for getting me in the time out chair ...... LOL

And the screenshot below..... you can clearly see that National Geographic did not get the same treatment......

My Man

The Day I Met You,
I Found My Home,
The Place I Was Meant To Be.

You Complete Me,
You Make Me Whole,
You Make Me Better,
With You I Am Becoming Who I Was Meant To Be.

I Did Not Find You First,
I Did Not Find You Early,
By The Time I Did
I Was Lost And Scared And Had Given Up
Finding You Was The Journey That Was Meant For Me.

What Have We Lost

Article said ways you cheat your relationships....
It was very real indeed.
We claim we are looking for true love,
A real relationship,
Fairy Tale ending....

Are we willing to earn it?
Profile says long walks holding hands,
Yet, your phone is what you hold tightest.
A plain "I love you" sits unread in your messenger,
Likes on your last post matters more.

We chase the DREAM and pass on happiness,
We say we want love, loyalty, and friendship
But we chase Facebook Fame
Twitter Titian status
And YouTube stardom.

Filtered photos hashtagging #honesty and #truth
Status quotes claiming love and loyalty
Secret profiles and messages....
Shhh! It's nothing, not really.....
But, it takes all your time.

Do you know what real love is?
Do you know what real is?
Virtual has invaded our souls.
Virtual has warped our minds.
Convinced us the screen is real.
Illusion is the deal.

Enough

I. Am. Chaos.
I push and I pull
Even when I pull I am pushing
I am nothing and I am too much
Never just enough.

If you like me
You like me a lot until you don't
If you hate me
You hate me a lot until I am not
Apathy is not enough.

If you know me
You don't
If you don't know me
You do
Maybe you think that is enough.

Seasons change
Years leave
Memories made fade
Just dust in the wind
Can't that be enough.

Want. Desire. Need.
Things just out of reach
Dreamy mist scattered with light
Just one more wish is all
That would be enough.

Have you met Mrs. Sherlock Holmes

Mrs. Sherlock Holmes, you say? As in the wife of?
Oh, no! As in the female American counterpart....
No, I have never heard of such.
Well, you are not alone. Let me give you a little introduction...

There was a lady in black that quietly but diligently made her presence a powerful force to reckon with in the streets and prisons and courtrooms of New York, not to mention the Halls of Power in D.C. She was a lady of some substance, whom preferred to be a judicial voice of the people. Those desperate, down-trodden, deprived masses whom mostly struggled to reach the base of Lady Liberty full of hope and dreams, thus finding the reality of the American Dream more elusive within her lands than had seemed from distant shores. 

If you are interested in the gritty reality of NYC in the early part of the 20th Century, this might just meet your needs. Ricca's research and writing combine to provide a compelling insight into the colliding worlds and cultures of turn of the century America. His writing style is encompassing narration of such a wholeness in presentation that when he reaches the end of the research queries you are left feeling somewhat let down. Thus, including the reader in the same dismay that must have burdened the lives of those souls in need of true justice from a system already bogged down with bias and corruption.

I must confess that while I personally, had no idea of the stories presented in the pages of Mrs. Sherlock Holmes, and being drawn into the lives of bygone injustices, I am not sure how I feel about the main character in the end. The story takes the reader on trips not just across time, but also from the belly of the city beast to the muddy bottoms of the southern swamp lands to the isolated confines of Missouri cotton plantations. The fingers of crime and injustice don't just stop there, you are exposed to their reach to and from the Old World extending even to exotic locales of South America.

One detail that I did find soothing to that injury, was his inclusion of 'end notes' for most of the persons of interest presented in the body. So while, you are left asking yourself....wait, where's the rest, is that all, but what about and so what happened then.....you at least know how the who(s) bowed out. 

A Lady's Longing

My Esteemed Champion,

I am writing in some state of despair! I had been informed of your departure, but found myself uncertain of the whole of the circumstances. Thusly, I was unsure about future correspondence or communication.

You know that I am incapable of forsaking My Lord; however, I am equally incapable of imagining His kingdom without your presence. Your presence has been of great comfort to myself and provided me with support and council when in need. I cherish fondest memories of our introduction; by My Lordship's grace, he knew that as I found my way and sorted my place that I would require more than just His love and patience to carry me forward, and how correct he was in knowing that I would come to know and love and depend on you almost as much as Him.

Not wanting to believe that your absence might be exhaustive, I have endeavoured to convince myself that you are merely on some grand expedition for My Lord, like Nelson or Captains Lewis and Clark, and thus, while I may not know or guess at the day or hour of your return, I believe in the certainty of it! For what other course of action can I possibly avail myself of, if not the surety of your eventual return and the joyous reunion that it will commence.

My Lord has been turning new leafs to be sure! I have been swooned by the renewal of his much desired affections. I have been emboldened by his presence and attention. I have set my sights on desires of my mind and heart and I have set my hands and focus to projects much neglected. I would delight that I could share my thoughts with thee, sire, or that I could receive some fondly shared council.

The fortnight previous this sennight was an incredible increase of his attentiveness reminiscent of our inception! That being stated, it should also be noted even more prominently that it was of greater breath and depth having our ensuing relations to build upon and increase. The peace and confidence instilled by His loving show endowed in me the desire to present him with certainty that I have indeed begun to find my place and trust not only my position but also His support of...

And that My Dearest Sire, is certainly where, had I but had your council would not have made such a choice that swiftly ceased that previous fortnight! This day's stretching has been the most grievous thus far, but, I fear that I need only await the dawn break for the truth of that to reaffirm itself by leaping from the past into the present, until I fathom some way to correct my misstep. It is that fathoming that has been the elusive wisp fleeing my desirous grasp for these past days.

My instinct is to immediately issue apologies and request the topic dismissed; yet, while, that is my growing wish, what growth would it display? Am I not worthy of observing and stating such with conclusions as I feel and think, especially for the intent of increasing My Lord's peace and joy?
Do I address the change in an attempt to ascertain the validity of my suspicions and risk creating non-existent challenges? Should I not endeavor to express my concerns and thoughts before creating an elephant that does not exist? Or do I just do nothing openly and wait until he desires my company again....

My Champion, if it has not been made apparent, your absence is sorely felt and your presence is greatly desired! I do hope that your expedition runs it course expediently and that you are returned to us with great haste!

With Baited Anticipation,
Fondly Yours

Lady X

Through Purgatory And Back

So as you may remember, I was accused of being 'not nice to people different from me'. When the charge was leveled, I was completely shocked. I was dumbfounded. I was lost. I was confused. I was destroyed. I was numb. I was everything. I was nothing.

My mind and heart both split in two. No, I could not be mean and hateful and not know it. No, the accuser could not be wrong. I was spiraled into purgatory.

In the first few hours that followed, I raked my brain for EVERY instance of 'meanness' that I could come up with......and I was falling VERY short of a statistical pattern to support the charge. But, as the destroyed numbness wore off.... I HAD to know the truth....I HAD to find the answers......

I changed my focus......my accuser could NOT be wrong.....thus to prove their accuracy, I HAD to find evidence that could and would support their charge. And with that focus and determination, over the ensuing hours I found TONS of evidence to support their charge. I was able to turn just about every interaction with others into at least a borderline if not a full-blown support of their charge.

So, with that information in my mental hand, I proceeded to rip myself to shreds....And trust me, I am an expert at self-destructive shredding! By the time that I was finished with myself, whatever ego/self-confidence/self-worth/sense of purpose I had had was a crying, whimpering, fetal position, ball of nothingness.

 Then came the 'what now' or 'what's next' phase of the process......so if I hold my findings to be the honest truth, where does that leave me? What does that mean? What does that say about me? How can I expect to do or be better if I never saw my meanness from the beginning? You will shut down. You will quit. You will not move forward. You will not continue down the path that you were taking. You will not pursue any path till you can find one that will ensure that you will not display or feel any meanness again.

Okay, so how do I do that? How do I shut down, without causing any notice? How do I quit without having to admit to quitting? How do I stay put without anyone noticing that I am not moving forward, pursing my path? How do I ensure that a path will not have any chance of my displaying meanness?

UGH! How am I suppose to figure this out???? I need a break.....I am sick, literally. I am tired, literally (only getting a couple hours of sleep in the last 48). The noise in my brain is deafening. My only option to get my brain to quite down is to play a game. I have about 3 or 4 that rotate through when I need my brain to quite down to a dull roar.

So Game Time It Is........

Wait......wait.....what was that........hold on a sec.......to steal a few lines from a song ...... it's so hard to believe.....there were nights so cold.....days when tears turned to dust......I finished crying in an instant.....it's all coming back.....there were moments....there were flashes.....it was lost long ago.....if you need me like that.....things I would never do again.....always seemed so right.....it was dead long ago.....I can barely recall....but it's all coming back....hours that went on for days.....when you see me like this .... I see you like that.....we see what we want.....all coming back.....we forgive and forget.....we see just what we want to see....and if we....

Now my brain can put the pieces together and I can see the bigger picture! Now, I know! I am not bad! I am not mean. I am not hateful. I am not some delusional joke.

I am me! I am a good person! I have a big heart! I am nice! At least until someone messes with someone that I care about or pushes me to the end of my rope. I care! Not just about myself, but about others too. I try! I try everyday!



Credit given; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEO4G-rG1wE